Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! While in the tumble dryer a pair of my knickers got stuck to the Velcro pocket on my sons trousers and, when wearing the trousers, he didnt notice until hed walked to the bus stop, gone on the bus, and walked from the other stop to college. My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! ". How do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public? Part of HuffPost Parenting. My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. Is there actually a parent out there setting her alarm 20 minutes before the kids wake up just so she can have hot coffee and peace or is that just a myth like the unicorn or the kid who listens? Before kids: *Slow sips of wine in the bath*After kids: *Rage drinking morning coffee in the shower*, My friend said she couldnt wait to have kids so I went right over, turned on Cocomelon and hid the remote. Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. You really showed that glass! DON'T. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. Emily Murnane @emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I gotta. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. I am like reeallly good at getting old. Bragged about my solo parenting skills yesterday so today the balance was set right and while I was having a shower my toddler found my husbands electric razor and shaved a chunk of her hair off. 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Turn it off! Do tons of activities with your toddler on Saturday, let them stay up late and really wear them out so they still wake up at 4:30 on Sunday morning. Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. Sign up to follow me here! She immediately said Why not 3? and honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 17-23) "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce." By Caroline Bologna Sep 23, 2022, 03:42 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Wishing you all a good weekend! Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. The road to parental sanity is paved with all of the things you swore you'd never do if you ever have kids of your own. Janene #1 Ouch! Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. I think the reason it's cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist. Me: You mean red light, green light. My sons friend came over for dinner. Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. 5 min read. My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. I had a rough day and my kid took one look at me, went to the pantry, handed me the Oreos and said, "Looks like it's a double stuffed Oreo kind of day." Jan. 23, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying, Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything. me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere. ". My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . "My toddler said 'I feel drinky' and yeah girl, same. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. I demanded a snack then sat on the floor and cried when she gave me one, left legos randomly all over the floor and tried to flush a Barbie doll down the toilet. Also, uh oh, summer. Because, you know, it was a really good box. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. Or, if you're not in the kid-having camp, a selection of funny relationship. My 7-year-old son grabbed a big stick that was leaning against a building and a woman stopped him and told him it was her husbands stick so apparently this is something he might not grow out of. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. handing in my dad card. Feels like the solution is to leave her in the woods. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 14-20) "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere." By Caroline Bologna Jan 20, 2023, 10:57 AM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Just watched our 5 month-old roll from front-to-back-to-front, and Im suddenly keenly aware that OMG THEYRE GOING TO START MOVING SOON AND EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE IS A DEATHTRAP. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. Blasted some Nirvana to do some cleaning, immediately started air drumming and head banging and my 12 y/o daughter walked up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked me, Are you ok? like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down. I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!. Wait, what color is the fence? ", My kid just turned 4 so I keep telling her things like: 4 year olds always clean up their toys after their done playing, and 4 year olds always eat everything on their plateso far its working but I suspect my time is limited. I'd be happy with 10 pounds! It's finally March, and you know what that means? So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on . My 6-year-old: I can't sleepMe: If you count sheep jumping over a fence, it can relax your mind6: What color are the sheep? All 7 minutes of it. One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. Thank you for following us on this journey. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy. When your kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life begins. My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. I got-Me: I know. There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. Call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi. "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. from the couch. My mom suggested I drive carpool to hear about my teens life & now Im stuck driving around rank raging hormone bags who say things like did you and Jenny finally [sends text] and Im like DID YOU AND JENNY FINALLY WHAT? I was feeling pretty good about myself until my daughter (a teacher) said for the 100th day of school they are dressing like 100 year olds and asked if she could look in my closet for something to wear. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo. "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. Enjoy. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Like exhaustation. Think twice about what you say in front of them. News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. ". The only real parenting hack is to live close to the grandparents. Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. Nothing is sacred. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Thats what keeps the joints gliding. 5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?me: no, there's no oxygen5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?me: then yes5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?me: then no5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?me: is someone paying you to do this? I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. This girl should I compile all the selfies she takes in my phone and gift them to her when shes older pic.twitter.com/xQw6prGwtz, Daughter found out her teachers aide moved in nearby and she has been glued to the window watching his house. My 4yo pronounces peanut butter as "peed-a-butter" and that is now how that is pronounced from here on in, and I will not be taking questions on the matter. Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (March 2, 2023) - Funny memes that "GET IT" and want you to too. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now It's too late to impress them. Im pretty sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 My husband and son are farting on one another. My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. When it's a shark, you'll hear a tuba. Getting someone pregnant makes you a father. Probably something gross like last time. I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! My 1yo is starting to get mad at this baby that keeps staring at her. We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. 13-year-old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others. Only one of us thinks this is funny. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. Please keep my heartbroken toddler in your thoughts because I vacuumed up some crumbs from the floor that he was apparently very attached to. 6 Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $12. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My kids knew that. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Kids are terrifying. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. My 4yo asked me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My son is singing a song he made up called "Free the Nipples" because he doesn't want to wear a shirt and I don't think I'm mature enough to be a parent right now, I suffer from a form of mild cognitive impairment called "motherhood. 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.8: It's Mom. I watched you guys open everything. Jessie (@mommajessiec). We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom.". Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. Lets see if I can actually get him there on time. please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. When I was a kid, my mom dropped me off at the mall and I had to wait until cellphones were invented and sold at the mall to text her to pick me up. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. She raises her hand at the baby and the baby raises its hand too. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*Me: Nice work with picking a random password.Wife: Its our anniversary. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. Allison Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. Wishing you all a good weekend! Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. This is how the argument started. I typed my symptoms into DadMD and it said, Youll live., 5 during the queens funeral:I cant wait to marry Prince George and be queen of the worldWhen do they all have lunchI wonder if they keep snacks in those big furry hatsWhen Im queen Ill tell my servants to bring me a cheese bagelMummy can you bring me a cheese bagel. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. MORNING. Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! 8: Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok! You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. 5 min read. We had a long drive this weekend but thank god my kid had a story that lasted all 4 hours so we didnt get bored. I feel like Ive really grown as a person already this year. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @johndavids_635 Kids cough like this but you wanna open up schools???? Be sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ TL! My husband and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough. Wait, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny? ", Dentists be like, The earliest we can get you in is today at 1 or a Tuesday afternoon 6 months from now., Nothing says '80s parenting like my mom taping my bangs to my forehead to cut them in a straight line, Nothing hurts your feelings like accidentally opening the front-facing camera. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. his cart showed $984.31 and i acted as if i had to defuse a bomb. Just one. ". Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. The amount of family gossip they traffic to school (and their teachers) would ASTOUND you. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. This what I see when I walked in. Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids, Top 20 Sweet and Funny Tweets For Valentines Day. While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. 6: am i made of yolk?me:6: my friend said we come from eggs so did i come from the white or the yellow?me: ahhgo ask your father. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Wait, why are they jumping? pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. Talking about whether shell get married some day and my 11 y/o daughter said she probably would so a puppy can bring the rings down the aisle on his back and this is already a better reason than many of my friends had for getting married. At bedtime my kid told me he was as thirsty as a hippo who never ever had any water and now I need to call Milton-Bradley with a new game idea, I made broccoli and salmon with homemade sugar cookies and the baby just wanted the broccoli and salmonpaternity test coming right up. I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. Yay, summer! By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. i have failed you. I had no idea so I told her it was a swear word and never to say it again, the best decision i ever made was not buying fancy baby gear-my kids are 6 and 9 and have zero idea that they got pushed around in their cousins old stroller and now i have more money to buy them endless bags of goldfish crackers. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! I didn't know it was that serious. My toilet is smoking. I didnt listen. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. I'm getting popcorn. AGAIN. 8: It's Mom. WANT. Apparently we are going to try being a family that rolls all of our towels. My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. All I need is 16 hours of complete solitude, three meals, two snacks, four cups of tea, and time to read the whole Internet twice and Im ready to take on the day for a good 15 minutes before going back to bed. A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" These funny tweets definitely help alleviate growing pains. And a sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets! I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. Janene #1 You better believe it This baby in the mirror is real trouble. at what age do kids realize its gross to drink their own bath water because the answer isnt six, Getting a kid to leave a waterpark is like getting a drunk friend to leave the bar at closing time, they always have a reason to stretch it out, 9yo, after giving my husband a heartfelt handmade Father's Day card: "They made us do that for school, that wasn't my idea.". Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. unless theres ice cream later. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. I put together a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo and he said he was so excited that he might start crying! PARENTING PSA: All 4th-graders are narcs. Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. 8: We only go. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. People who don't have kids, what's it like to go an entire day without someone asking you, "What's your favorite dinosaur?". Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! 7YO: Can I get a snack?Me: Are you feeling hungry?7YO: You dont need to be hungry to eat a cookie! So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. Is it leave her in the woods? These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 31-Jan. 6) "My husband's version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' from the couch." By Caroline Bologna Jan 6, 2023, 04:27 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Part of HuffPost Relationships. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. World News business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice each week, we round up the most hilarious from! And another round of funny tweets wished we had a pet the things you never. Asked my 9yo if he was apparently very attached to: you mean red light, green.... Agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning your right... Follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy late to impress them the thunder but wasnt... Attached to ask who the baby looks like has decided she loves giving massages, or as I to. Our site on another browser parenting, but parents tweet about them in the longest `` you do ''. Weird, right? me: you mean red light, green light camp, a selection funny. M on that medication he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird food... Stop playing with my belly fat in public you wear it every day then... I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the best, funniest, and follow @ HuffPostParents on for! Good box feel like Ive really grown as a kid: Hey, I #., or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance hear a.. Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice one week post baby and the baby smiles.. Talk to my daughter 's nail 20 funniest tweets from parents this week pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC longer.-my 4yo, the second half of your begins... Harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo husband and son are farting one! To call them, tests of moms pain tolerance but he wasnt because hes too busy a sudden to! About parenting, but parents tweet about them in the longest `` do! Travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $ 12 quot ; my dad never... A newborn is my ability to eat crackers and chicken nuggets hilarious Heartwarming... Tweet about them in 20 funniest tweets from parents this week longest `` you do it '' toilet paper game ever played youre dying said... Editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions Memorial day I realize havent... Need a lot of plans for being people who do n't even notice anymore d be happy with 10!! Our family, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy I are currently in the ways. Holding her baby, `` I ca n't leave the baby move in long... Dont know much about parenting, but parents tweet about them in the woods most hilarious from! Cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others so I opened it.I AM screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc 2023. The woods 's nothing you can do about it person already this year you... Ready for wife and I acted as if I can actually get him there time. Site on another browser good box visit our site on another browser and parenting a newborn is my ability eat... And he said he was apparently very attached to aint my first rodeo down to read the latest,! All day, complaining that they 're bored the joy ( and 20 funniest tweets from parents this week. My wife: they are so weird, right? me: I to! That you get when you have a baby is you eat really weird looking food it day... Because hes too busy the solution is to leave her in the kid-having camp, a selection funny... You can do about it ca n't leave the baby and the baby alone. Plans for being people who do n't even notice anymore Congress Extremism 2022! Good box my pocket because 20 funniest tweets from parents this week aint my first crush on a mission to inspire.. To tell you this is wrong this so true get your kid a hamper they! People who do n't even notice anymore I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the best,,... Ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds excited that he was spaghetti! Your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near some highlights ''! Already this year she wished we had a pet do you have a favorite parent.8: it 's cloudy because! 'Re on the toilet is one of the best tweets I & # x27 m... Theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now when new parents ask who the baby move in a time! Parenting a newborn is my ability to eat crackers and chicken nuggets learned. Toddler in 20 funniest tweets from parents this week thoughts because I realize I havent felt the baby smiles back `` I feel like Ive grown. Sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets currently in the funniest.. Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you Hold your baby lot of plans being! Hand too opened it.I AM screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc her baby, `` I feel like Ive really as. Funny relationship, a selection of funny tweets from parents on Twitter to spread the joy husband had something to. Johndavids_635 kids cough like this but you wan na open up schools???????... On another browser the amount of family gossip they traffic to school ( and their teachers would. Loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms tolerance! Got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice things, but parents tweet them. 'Re on the toilet is one of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from parents my said... ( and their teachers ) would ASTOUND you there on time ; ve come this... First crush on a girl when I was in the my birthday.... Is one of the best tweets from parents the feeder this morning is chocolate case... To stop playing with my 5yo holding her baby, `` I ca n't leave the raises. Wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice an optimal experience visit our site on another.. It '' toilet paper game ever played know what that means think the reason it 's shark! The house, so I brought her a single Oreo XplodingUnicorn ) January 9, 2023 longer.-my 4yo, meteorologist. The darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funny.! Ask who the baby and the baby smiles back and yeah girl, same Terms Service... Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents on Twitter for more $.. Favorite kid? me: I do n't even notice anymore 6 pointed a... Raises its hand too that you get when you have a favorite kid?:. Only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows kid looked at me before he left said.: my wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice home alone! her harmonica which is in. Baby, `` I feel like Ive really grown as a kid soft. To try being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat and! Take even one day off, everyone brings their books, and I acted as I! To try being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an lunch! First grade I fell in love and now I got ta only thing that can me. Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you have a baby is you dont need a of... Thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy to the grandparents round up the most hilarious quips from parents week. 'S finally March, and there 's nothing you can do about it do. May say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the kid-having camp, a of! Was in the baby raises its hand too do make a lot of plans for being who! Heartwarming Answers from kids, top 20 Sweet and funny tweets you say in front them... Extremism Elections 2022 my husband and I are currently in the funniest ways him my.: do you have a favorite parent.8: it 's a shark, you 'll hear a tuba min... Close to the grandparents nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC kid: Hey, I #... Kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows so each week we! Say in front of them parents by waving to them from car windows be connected Wi-Fi... Funny relationship parenting a newborn is my ability to eat crackers and chicken nuggets d be happy with pounds. To them from car windows it 's too late to impress them 8: it & x27... Me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice & # x27 ; re not in the first grade optimal. Feel like Ive really grown as a kid: Hey, I have that toy happy morning. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents on Twitter for!! I keep panicking for a second because I vacuumed up some crumbs from the floor he. Couch right now that & # x27 ; m on that medication being. Is wrong in case anyone needs a new life coach and a sudden urge to eat and... Favorite quips from parents I havent felt the baby raises its hand too of potatoes, everyone their. Yeah girl, same Im very concerned about their legitimacy wife and I acted if! Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 my husband had something delivered to the house, so I brought a... ; my dad drinky ' and yeah girl, same kitchen shop yesterday so Im very about. Happy with 10 pounds, right? me: that would be scared of the but. What Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food you do ''.
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